Here's a question for you- What story are you telling yourself today and everyday?
When I talk about story, I'm referring to the language and narratives you tell others.
For example when you're introduced to someone new, you're often asked your name followed by what do you do.
If you're aspiring to be a entrepreneur but you're currently a waitress, you will always introduce yourself as Susie the waitress.
These narratives have a direct impact on what we say to ourselves, how we act or behave and weather or not we feel deserving of a the life we really want.
Each and everyone of us wakes up with a narrative which we repeatedly reaffirm to ourselves throughout our day.
Better or for worse this is the truth.
Our story contains pieces of information from the past, present and future. Some are less important than others. Some are more meaningful than others.
Either way, what is important is how we react to these thoughts, feelings and events.
And, weather or not we cement these thoughts and beliefs deeper into our story.
Luckily we can do something about it.
And it starts with our confidence.
Our confidence holds the key to changing our story.
When we have confidence to make the necessary changes in our life, we begin to change our story.
Your story affects everything in our life. From what we do, to who we become, to what we achieve, to how we approach life, to our perception.
Pretty much everything.
Let’s say you really want to be a firefighter. But have grown up with the self limited belief that “being a firefighter is only for a select few”. You’ve been told many times “it’s all about who you know” and “there’s not many jobs available”.
This kind of story is going to knock your self confidence, no matter what your hearts telling you to do.
This lack of confidence leads you down a more comfortable route and you end up as a teacher.
Unless you can change the story you’re going to continue getting the same results.
This situation happens so often in life and it’s often referred to as “people falling into the wrong trap”.
Personal transformation starts with story transformation.
Unless we have the tools and skills to change our story we will remain stuck and limited in our life.
Does any of this sound familiar?
How many times have you said to yourself “I’m not good at that” or “I’m too old for that” “Nothing good ever happens to me”?
Exactly, far too many!
These pattern of thoughts are an example of the your story you keep telling yourself.
Don't get me wrong not all storytelling is negative and limited.
Think of all the positive stories and events that have happened in your life. These positive stories help us to become more confident, take more action, live an inspiring life, be kind and live happier lives.
Being on the right side of your stories can be powerful and can have a tremendous impact on your life.
It’s the negative stories which we need to change. Rip out the chapters that no longer serve us and add new positive events and experiences so we can can shape our world in a more meaningful and fulfilling way.
By now you’re probably wondering how to change your story?
Asking this question is the first step towards accepting that something isn’t quite going well in your life.
How To Make Your Story Great
Identifying your self limited beliefs is the place to begin to change your story.
Interestingly, we enter the world with some good and some not so good beliefs.
However throughout our time, we pick up more and more self limited beliefs rather than the “I can do anything” mindset.
Why is this?
Look no further than our parents.
For the first 18 years of your life (at least) you are at the mercy of your parents story.
This can be awesome if your parents love their life and not so good if they have regrets and resentment lurking deep within their bones.
Most people fail to live out their dreams so they have a habit of passing on there negative story to you.
Who hasn’t heard their parents say “you’ve got to work hard to get ahead”.
So you grow up thinking - gotta work hard.
If only you were told - money is a vibration. Match your energy to the vibration and BOOM you will feel more in alignment with prosperity.
I wish I got told this. God damm it!
Changing your story for the better starts with two small steps:
- 1First step is to identify what your self limited beliefs are?
- 2The second step is to make changes to those self limited beliefs
If you want to be successful, but your story is telling you “I’ll never do anything great” you need to stop the negative cycle of self sabotaging by introducing new seeds of positive thoughts.
Everytime you reaffirm your old story, I want you to to affirm your new one.
So next time you say to yourself “I’ll never do anything great” I want you to immediately say “ I can do anything that I put my mind too”
You will soon begin to notice the thoughts becoming neutral this will create the space for the positive changes to occur.
Sustained Story Success
Changing your beliefs it’s actually much quicker and easier than you may think.
What becomes more difficult is finding long term story success.
This is where wins or results come in.
Small wins turn an idea or a goal into something more tangible.
When this happens your story feels more real to you.
The more wins you have the more momentum swings in your favour.
As you develop more momentum you plant the seeds for long term story success.
Here’s an example
Susie wants to lose weight.
Eating fruit and veg will help you lose weight. But it’s also very likely you’re always one chocolate bar away from putting it all back on.
However, if you were to change your lifestyle and diet you would see more long term results. Eat vegan and practice yoga twice weekly.
This would change your story.
Remember to really see long lasting results you must be congruent with who you are.
Otherwise long term sustainability won't continue.
If you don’t know who you are, you’re going to find it difficult knowing the parts of your story that you want to change.
Social conditioning adds many layers of self limited beliefs onto every story.
Sifting through what’s true and what’s not helps to understand whether it’s you or your society beliefs that’s holding you back.
When you find out what’s highest on your values you can then determine how you can live in accordance with those values.
Your values shape your story.
If spending money is high on your value list then your not going to be good at saving. This means each week you’ll be living from paycheck to paycheck and rinsing your account down to $0 each time.
You’ll then tell the story of “I never have enough money”
This is how it works.
As humans we like to fit in. It’s part of our survival. In deeply encoded within our DNA.
But this is what's also hold so many of us back. This desperate need to fit in means we lose our authenticity.
This is like giving away our freedom. Handing all of our power over to somebody else.
When we do this we tend to live other people story. And it’s of little wonder when we don’t know who we are.
It is your divine right to live your story and nobody else's.
Knowing thyself is a great place to start.
But it's also very scary. Because you have to look within.
Goodbye ego, hello authenticity.
If only it was that easy.
You see your ego wrestles to stay in it's comfort zones, where its familiar and easy.
Changes don't always come easy.
This is why meditation is so effective.
The simple practise of quietening the mind allows you to reconnect with your soul.
It's during this connection, you awaken yourself to your calling, your mission work, your true north.
But the main reason why mediation is so effective to look within for answers is because you let go of any resistance.
Sometimes we are so attached to our story that we become so afraid to change it. Even though its no longer serving us and it's the cause of our negativity.
During meditation we let go of any story we are holding onto and take ourselves back to the emptiness.
When we visit the emptiness we can make way to our real story. The one which we have come here to this planet to live.
Revise & Refine
Allow your story to change and evolve as you move through life.
Don’t get attached or stuck to one particular story.
Each chapter is here to serve you in some way. But don’t get bogged down by the events and experience from the past.
Move forward and take the necessary steps towards changing your thoughts and behaviours towards a better life.
You are always one thought away from changing anything in your life.
Know this to be true and know that you always hold the power of what story you want your life to look like.
We are growth seeking human beings, it’s not a question of if you change but when you change.
This is the time to refine and revise your story to make sure you are living congruently with your soul and your true authentic self.
Try to be mindful for the rest of your day of what story you are telling yourself.
Wake up tomorrow and begin working on the changes that are necessary for you to live the story that you dreamed about.
Remember when you were younger, remember those dreams and aspirations that you had?
There still there, in your heart. Now’s the time to unleash your potential and see those dreams come to life.
Who you become as you change your story is far more important than the story itself.
Stop holding onto your comfort zone with the same narrative, it's time to take back your control and step into your power.
Today is the day. Start right now.
I hope you found my article on changing your story useful.
Please let me know in the comments below how this has helped you.